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Shea Weber: The Beard That Could Be

November 9, 2012


Today we salute the Nashville Predators captain and star defenseman, Shea Weber. He is a fine and shining example of the playoff beard. Unfortunately for Weber he’s been stuck in Trashville playing for the Sexual Predators for his whole career and they’ve never made it far enough into the playoffs to unleash this beard’s potential. I’ll admit they’ve gotten much better in recent years but Weber’s beard really hasn’t been given it’s fair chance, but then again neither has their franchise. They play a cold weather sport in a town full of a bunch of toothless hillbillies who throw catfish on the ice to show their support in lieu of actually knowing what the hell is going on or how hockey is even played and their team is owned by a empty-headed country singer from Oklahoma who probably doesn’t know what an ice-cube is let alone an ice rink. Weber’s beard, much like the Predator’s franchise, is just a glimpse of what could be. Hell I bet if this guy ever made it game 7 of the Stanley cup finals he would look like a member of ZZ Top. His beard would look so glorious that win or lose they would firmly place Lord Stanley Cup right in his beard like a child sitting in a bean bag chair. Weber is a big bad dude playing for a dark horse team rocking a dark horse beard. I hope for his sake the Preds can get their shit together so we can see what this beard is really made of. For now Weber’s beard lays dormant in the shadows of the playoff beard world, but someday his beard shall have it’s comeuppance and finally show us what truly can be, and for that, we salute you.

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