Worst Beers Ever: #6 Lost Lake
Lost Lake is one of the terrible beers I discovered during my time freshman year at Saint Mary’s University of Minnesota. To give you an idea of how bad this one is, I left SMU in May of 2009, it is now December 2011 and I still have a can of it that I brought back with me in my basement. Not for sentimental reason, because I’d rather keep any shred of dignity I have left than drink that beer. I’ve had some interesting nights with Lost Lake, most of which I’d like to wipe clean from my memory. It goes down tough and come out even tougher the next morning. This real downfall of this beer is just it’s overall shitty atmosphere: a shitty name, a shitty taste, a shitty display, a shitty promotional scheme, this beer just fuckin sucks. Let’s just examine the name for a second shall we? Lost Lake. I’ll start of by first saying, how unappealing. You don’t want to remotely give people the idea that they’re drinking beer that could possibly be from lake, I mean fish shit and piss in lakes, thats disgusting. Secondly, I think that it’s safe to say that we’d all be a lot better off if this lake had remained lost and never made it’s way onto the shelves. Also take a look at this rag-tag website they have put together, http://www.lostlakebeer.com/. It looks like it was designed for a 4th graders computer class project, THAT HE FAILED. The first thing you see on the website is, “Winner of the Gold, Bronze & Silver Medals”. I honestly don’t know what to think of that, is it some sort of a sick joke? What awards could this beer have possibly won? Furthermore what the fuck kind of order is that, shouldn’t it be Gold, Silver and Bronze? Maybe it’s supposed to be funny, maybe they realize that they are brewing, packaging, and distributing dog piss and just try to fuck with people that go to their website by saying they won some awards that they don’t describe or give proof of. I’m not saying this beer can’t win awards, just not awards a brewery would be proud of. They might win Gold Bronze and Silver in award for standout beer in the category of “tasting the same pre and post digestion”, or “beer that will make you question your life choices resulting in a radical overhaul of yourself as a person” or hell I’d even give it, “beer most you would most likely find people drinking alone with the lights out, crying themselves to sleep in a drunken haze”. Lost Lake should go back to the frigid disgusting lake from whence it came and while it might not win the Gold, Bronze or Silver on this lits, it is still deserving of the #6 spot.