George Clinton “His Funkyness”
*sorry in advance for excessive use of the word funk and puns of the word funk
HAPPY NO SHAVE NOVEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Funk, what a beard! Today we salute George Clinton. And no we’re not talking about the 4th vice president of the United States with the same name. We’re talking about The King of Interplanetary Funksmanship, The Prime Minister of Funk, George “funkin” CLinton! Here is a beard that know how to get down and bust out a funky jam. Clinton was a music revolutionary in the 70s he led the group Parliament and its sister group Funkadelic he combined the sounds of rock, r&b, funk and soul to make some of the most funktastic sounds you’ve ever heard. His band Parliament’s albums all went high on the charts and their singles “Flash Light” and “Aqua Boogie” both scored #1 on the r&b charts. And hey I’m sure a lot of you like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, well guess what, my man and his beard here produced their first studio album, and hot dog is that one funky album. And listen here, if you haven’t heard his track “Atomic Dog” check it out, NOW. He has had many successes but that not to say Clinton and his beard haven’t seen their fair share of trouble. In 2003 CLinton was arrested in Tallahassee, FL for possession of cocaine (for those of you counting at home, thats our second beard this month that has had problems with cocaine). I’m shocked really, not because he was in possession of and using cocaine, but because that was the first time he had been caught. Are you telling me that this guy wrote all of those totally funked up songs, and presents himself like that and he doesn’t love recreationally taking loads of drugs. I’m sure he has enough tabs of LSD lost in his beard alone to get the whole state of Rhode Island loaded for an afternonon. I’m also shocked that he hasn’t died yet, Hell, more power to him. Now I’m not here to bash his drug habit, in fact, I applaud him for not letting it get the best of him. But lets get to what counts, the beard. Yeah, it might look like something you might see under a bridge pushing a shopping cart, but believe you me its just an em-beard-iment (just made that word up) of the funk. When you’re spitting out jams like Geroge you don’t have time to shave, and damn if he doesn’t look better for it. George Clinton might be a drug out whockadoo to some, but to me he’s a music legend with a beard that’s about board the mothership back to planet funk, and for that, we salute you.