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Sylvester Stallone from Rocky IV: The Communist Killing Beard

November 7, 2011

HAPPY NO SHAVE NOVEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!! Today we salute Michael Sylvester Gardenzio Stallone or as we all know him Sylvester Stallone, for his beard in Rocky IV (or Rocky 4 if you prefer). This beard, like much of Rocky IV, was a symbol. To give those of you who haven’t seen the movie, it’s about A champion Boxer, Rocky Balboa, who fights the young and seemingly impossible to beat, Ivan Drago from Russia. This movie takes place during the Cold War so tensions between the two countries were at an all time high. A Russian army general named Ivan Drago starts taking the boxing world by storm and beats all of the competition, he eventually makes it over to America were he fights Rocky’s very close friend and former heavyweight champion of the world, Apollo Creed. During their match Drago ruthlessly kills Drago and shows no remorse for what he did. So Rocky then challenges Drago to a fight in Russia on Christmas Day. Rocky then leaves his home in Philly to go train in Siberia and thats where this beauty of a beard is born. Rocky doesn’t shave the entire time he’s training in Siberia. Some might argue it was due to a lack of shaving resources, or because he was too focused on training to shave. YOU ARE WRONG. Rocky grew this beard as a symbol of the weight he carried from losing his dear friend, Apollo. Every time he looked in the mirror he saw his beard and was reminded of why he was training: to avenge Apollo’s death. And as his beard got bigger and bigger, so did his grief and muscles both of which accumulated and collaborated into one of the biggest ass whoopings mother Russia had ever seen. It was a drawn out battle but in the end Rocky won, not because of his heart, but because that beard helped train him to be the best fighter in the world. After the fight Rocky gave the biggest tear-jerking speech to the comrades. He spoke about fight he just won, which ultimately alluded to cold war policies. And in his speech he said with such passion. “if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!” Well guess what Rocky, your beard has changed my life as well as US-Russian relations forever, and for that we salute you.

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